Justin sings

I got a new camera for Christmas and I love it. If you follow my flickr pictures, you'll hopefully notice my posting many more pictures in the coming weeks and months. This camera also includes the ability to record videos...

I visited Justin and Allison last night when they returned from Middle Tennessee. Allison got this neat new head scarf that's constructed in such a way that it stays on your head (it has a little "head pocket"). Justin put it on and we asked him to sing "Mary Did You Know?" -- he didn't sing that... instead, we got this:

Thanks Justin!

 

Technorati Tags: Video,Funny,Song

flickr Statistics amaze me

Those of you who use flickr (and have "PRO" accounts) may have noticed last week that you now can see more detailed statistics on your photos. It's pretty neat to see from which websites you're getting visitors, who's viewing your pictures. For instance, I notice from my statistics, that some at wikiHow wrote on article titled "How to Recycle Your Socks" and used one of my flickr pictures to illustrate the article.

Here's a snapshot of my statistics page -- detailed stats are available only for the last 34 days or so (how long they've been gathering detailed stats). The numbers below are truly "all time" numbers, though:

I'm charmed that "Nathan gets a handful" is number one... Not one of my most flattering pictures, but, I've pretty much committed to sharing everything publicly. Heaven help me if I ever decide to run for high public office -- I'm screwed.

I notice also that for some reason, my picture of the Little Family is consistently ranked very highly. No one has looked at it recently, however.

I can't imagine why the picture of Lindsay with the blue tongue ranks so highly. Here are the most recent (last 34 days or so) referrers (how people found it) for that picture:

My flip flops are very popular. Here's the referrer list (again, only flickr searches) for that picture:

It seems that when you search Yahoo news or images for Destin, some of my pics come up. Same for Jackson, MS and/or the St. Patrick's Day parade.

I'm a *huge* fan of flickr, by the way. I think you all should be uploading your pictures. If you're still thinking about what I should get you for Christmas, I'll be glad to buy my friends/family a pro account on flickr. Just let me know. :)

 

Technorati Tags: flickr,statistics,technology,strange statistics

Facebook advertising

I know that Facebook is a commercial enterprise, they're in the business of making money. I don't pay anything for my use of their service -- the ads they present on their pages pay for my usage...

I like Facebook. I love the clean interface (though it's becoming more cluttered every day). MySpace allows users to customize their profile pages in almost every way imaginable and those customized pages are often hard on the eyes and on the computer (some pages cause my poor laptop to literally grind to a halt). Facebook, again, is cool and clean.

Mostly, though, I like Facebook because they seem to me to be "good guys". Yeah, they're making money, but they're perceived as being concerned about their users and doing the right thing. Kind of like Google, in my mind. "Don't be evil" and all that.

This evening, however, I was confronted with something that made me stop and think for a moment.

Click the above for a larger version -- you'll notice (even in this small picture) a large "Continue" button in "Facebook Blue". It looks like a genuine Facebook button... but it's not. It takes the user to the site of an advertiser.

I don't mind the ads, I've already said that. I don't like being tricked, however. I wish Facebook would limit these kinds of ads -- their presence seems duplicitous and not at all in line with my view of the "good Facebook".

 

Technorati Tags: Facebook,ads,social networking

Christmas shopping.. blech

I've done very little Christmas shopping. I've bought a few things for my parents (to give people), but in truth I've really bought nothing for anyone. Those who know me know that I don't give many Christmas presents anyway -- and they almost always come after Christmas. I hate trying to figure out what to get people; I don't want to give meaningless trinkets... To that end, I present my Christmas 2007 Gift Survey (link). If anyone has anything particularly interesting on their list, I might say something about it (won't use your name, of course). You're also, free, of course, to discuss that as a comment to this post!

I meant to publish this several weeks ago... :)

Can you hear this?

According to Wikipedia, these sounds started out as a way to repel "young loiterers" outside shops in Europe. List below are certain tones that you should (or shouldn't) be able to hear based on age. Apparently, young people are using these sounds as ring-tones so the old folks (teachers, etc) can't tell when they're getting text messages or telephone calls in class. Give this a try and let me know, in the comments, when you can't hear the tones.

The the one labeled 30 & younger is audible to me... The 16.7khz tone (younger than 24) is barely audible to me. The 17.7khz tone (younger than 24) MIGHT be audible -- or I might just wish to be hearing it. Beyond that, I can't hear a thing. Really: I want to know your results!

I may use this as my "alert" tone on the instant messenger at work.

8khz - Everyone

10khz 60 & Younger

12khz 50 & Younger

14.1khz 49 & Younger

14.9khz 39 & Younger

15.8khz 30 & Younger

16.7khz < 24

17.7khz < 24

18.8khz < 24

19.8khz < 24

21.1khz < 24

22.4khz < 24

 

The source for these particular tones is Free Mosquito Ringtones.

 

Technorati Tags: Teen Buzz,Mosquito,Mosquito Ringtone,ringtone

Funny moments for Doctors

 

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by! Dr. Susan Steinberg

Funny moments for Doctors | Bubblejive.com

I was amused.. Click the link for some more funny stories.

I remember hearing a story about an intern who one time visited an establishment specializing in "adult entertainment". This intern, we'll call him Dr. John, was with a group celebrating the upcoming nuptials of a friend. At these establishments, as I understand it, the entertainers or dancers (if you prefer) often walk around to solicit business ("private dances"). One such entertainer approached Dr. John and rubbed her fingers across his shoulders, bent low, and ran her fingers up his thighs in a rather intimate manner. John was thunderstruck. He said, "Good goobledy gosh, what are you doing?" The entertainer replied, "Don't worry, honey, I'm a professional." John, thinking quickly, placed his hand on a spot that isn't generally permitted or encouraged in such establishments... the entertainer's eyes widened and she gasped, "What do you think you're doing????" John replied, "Don't worry, honey, I'm a doctor."

That's how the story was told to me, at least. :)

Man stabs pit bull in attack

 

When McElrath looked outside, he saw a pit bill attacking his pet. After repeatedly beating the pit with a skillet to no effect, McElrath retrieved an eight-inch butcher knife and began to stab the pit bull.

Dyersburg State Gazette: Story: Man stabs pit bull in attack

 

Wow. My father told me about this a few weeks ago. I looked up the story tonight.

I don't hate pit bulls, I don't even dislike them. I hate that they have so often become status symbols and even weapons. I am disgusted with irresponsible pet owners. I am sad that two animals, in this case, died because of an irresponsible dog owner failed to properly restrain his animal, that that animal was not properly cared for even when his owner was incarcerated.

 

Technorati Tags: pit bull,pit bull attack,animal welfare

Too much information

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AMEN

 

Technorati Tags: Chistmas,Cartoon,Funny

What's the point?

I bought a loaf of bread at Wal-Mart last night.

I bought wheat bread -- I can't think of a sandwich that's not better on wheat bread (and I had a long conversation with Judy about just that topic today -- she seems to think fried eggs are better on white bread). I especially love Peanut Butter on wheat bread, flavorful wheat bread. Mmmm. Good.

So, I'm shopping for bread at Wal-Mart. There are, literally, dozens of brands and varieties available. It's much easier to buy bread at Foodrite. A larger selection is not always better for this small-town boy.

I have made my selection and I notice that right next to my chosen loaf is another loaf of the same type -- but it's only a HALF loaf. "Wow," I thought, "great, I probably won't eat this full loaf before it goes stale. I'll buy a half loaf." Yeah, good thought, but I checked the price (something I'm not known to do). I would expect the half-loaf to be half the price of the full loaf.... wrong. It was about 75% the cost of the full thing. So, my math friends, what's my return on investment?

I dunno. I don't care.

I might eat more than half this loaf. I might eat as much as 75%! I'm just gonna take my chances with the whole loaf.

 

Technorati Tags: bread,loaf,half-loaf,Wal-Mart

Fun on the forums

I'm amazed at what people are willing to say online.

Here's my favorite from the recent past:

Both of these are from the Jackson Sun online forums...

See Beautiful Cincinnati

The Jackson Sun had a teaser today about flights now being available to Cincinnati from McKellar-Sipes regional airport in Jackson. Delta Connection flights begin tomorrow, November 18.

This excites me for several reasons. Cincinnati is a great city to visit. Great food, one of the finest zoos in the nation, concerts and shows, these are all available in Cincinnati. It's too far to drive quickly, but I can see hopping on a puddle-jumper and flying into town for a few days.

I had a look at pricing:

So -- I could fly to Cincinnati for $140 round-trip to celebrate the new year!

I wonder what's going on in Ohio on December 31? What are you doing New Year's Eve?

 

Technorati Tags: Cincinnati,Jackson TN,Delta,Flights,Cheap,Entertainment

9 Words That Don't Mean What You Think

 9 Words That Don't Mean What You Think | Cracked.com

Irregardless

People think it means:
Regardless.

Actually means:
Not a damned thing.

This is not a word. Now, we have no problem with making up words (if a particular scent can only be described as "fartalicious," we reserve the right to call it so). The problem with this one is "regardless" already means something isn't worth regard (that's why the "less" is there) so adding the "ir" to it means... it's worth regarding again? Who knows.

 

My father and I have discussed this word for years. When he wants to especially aggravate me -- or make a point about how ridiculous something is, he'll use this word.

Yeah Dad. You're right. Click the link above to see some other words that are commonly misused.

 

Technorati Tags: irregardless,words,english,dumb

Bluetooth

I broke down right after my birthday and bought a bluetooth headset for my cell-phone. It's obnoxious, yes, but it's also addictive. The thing is feather-weight; I won't say I don't notice that it's there, but it's certainly better than any other cell headset I've ever used. And CONVENIENT! I simply press a button on the side of the headset and say the name of the person to whom I wish to speak and TA DA.. I'm connected. I don't even have to find my cell-phone -- it can be in my briefcase behind the car seat or even across the room. Truly amazing. Oh... and I can use the stupid thing with the computer and with my desk phone too.

Bluetooth headsets are becoming ubiquitous. You're not a yuppy without a bluetooth headset. You're not successful unless you have a bluetooth headset. Whatever.. I just think it's incredibly useful.

More than ever, though, I find myself talking into the air, waving my hands, and seemingly acting insane. People stare -- yes, they do. If they see the tiny little headset perched on my ear, they may get the picture, but elseways they think I'm just nuts... Lots of people think I'm nuts anyway; I'm used to it.

It *is* horribly rude to use the thing in restaurants or overmuch in public. It's useful driving, walking down the street, etc, but I'm not about to sit in the Toot-N-Tell-It talking on my bluetooth headset. While the sound quality is acceptable, one does have to speak up a bit to make certain the person on the other end can hear you. This louder than normal tone isn't appropriate for places you're going to hanging around very long. You should piss people off and then move on... Don't use it in church, at the funeral home, in a restaurant, the doctor's office, on the bus, on the plane, etc....

See this hand video for tips on dealing bluetooth nerds in restaurants:

 

Technorati Tags: bluetooth,rude,annoying,technology,Larry David

Men's restroom etiquette

I was speaking the other day with a lady about the restrooms in a convenience store in Trenton. For years, this particular store's restrooms had been ATROCIOUS; they were absolute hell-holes. I remember well when people sneaked into the restroom to smoke crack and other illicit substances -- and that wasn't the worst smell that seemed always to pervade the rooms... Recently, however, the store's been undergoing a major renovation. Along with the rest of the store, the restrooms have been completely redone. They are now sparklingly clean, pristine, lovely, a wonder to behold in a small town like Trenton. This conversation about the restrooms in the convenience store led to a conversation on bathroom etiquette -- especially among men.

I know that this topic has been covered by numerous bloggers and pundits on the web, but I thought I'd give my take on this most delicate and important subject.

Men's restrooms are magical. They are like the fortress of solitude. On entering a restroom, all men become blind deaf mutes. We see nothing. We hear nothing. We do not speak. A roaring conversation can be continued down the hall to the restroom but once we pass the solemn thresh-hold of the lavatory, we become as monks sworn to silence. At most, we might communicate with a grunt, a nod of recognition, but more commonly, nothing is said, no one's presence is acknowledged. It's as if you become an island of your own in the restroom. Eye contact is strictly avoided -- but more importantly, we don't really look *anywhere*. Focus on the task at hand, as it were, and move along. Keep your head down, your hands to yourself and no one gets hurt.

I had the privilege (I guess) of sharing the restroom with a recently re-elected governor several months ago. It was one of the strangest experiences of my life -- I'm an outgoing person, I talk to everyone. He's much the same way, after all, he's a politician. Though we were almost side-by-side (there was one empty urinal between us), I didn't even recognize that he was in the restroom until the attendant (this was a swanky affair) became confused as to who he should offer soap (as we arrived at the sinks at the exact same moment). Of course, I let the governor go first.

There are dozens of resources detailing proper bathroom etiquette available on the internet... Here's an excerpt from the International Center for Bathroom Etiquette:

To choose the middle of three urinals is to commit an act of pure, unadulterated selfishness, and for it one should be ashamed. Instead, one should immediately proceed the the end urinal which is furthest from the door, or alternatively, best smelling.

What are your thoughts about restroom etiquette?

Technorati Tags: men's restroom,etiquette,protocol,rules

Come to the dark side?

I like Fred,  but he reminds me a bit of Emperor Palpatine in this picture.

 

 

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Election 2008,Fred Thompson,Palpatine

And he sings!

My brother takes "voice" from some folks in Alamo, TN. They have two annual shows -- one in the summer and one at Christmas. This year, Samuel's solo was "The Music of the Night" from the Phantom of the Opera. He was amazing... Here are a few clips.



And his group...

A smoking pile of rubble

In the total loss of building use scenario, what likely exists will be a smoking pile of rubble. This rubble will contain many components that could be dangerous. It could also contain any personnel on the premises at the time of the disaster. For these reasons, the local fire marshal with the assistance of the police will control the site until the building is no longer a threat to surrounding properties and the companies have secured the site from the general public.

I've been reading the disaster recovery plan for one of our providers. Above is a particularly fun paragraph.

Technorati Tags:disaster recovery, catastrophy, smoking pile of rubble

Breaking news?

I know that I tend to ramble here. The websites that offer recommendations on blogging say that you should pick a topic and stick to it. Oh well.

On September 24, our little town adopted a new law that may be controversial in some circles. It was on the local television news on October 9, Tuesday of last week (see the previous blog post). It showed up as "Breaking News" on the main local daily newspaper late last week (Friday I think). Their coverage on this breaking news story (almost a month old now) was basically, "City passes ordinance restricting ownership of some dogs." Seriously. It was one line -- on the website. No story followed the next day.

There was a message on my answering machine tonight from a reporter for the local daily newspaper. She left the message at about 7:45 for a news story that will, I guess, run tomorrow. I returned her call just after 10 o'clock. She thanked me for my call but said she'd already filed the story.

I have no idea why this has become an issue now. Further bulletins as events warrant... :)

Not quite a TV star

The rumors are true. I was on television last night. I don't think I made the best showing, but I'm told I was very serious. Out of about 20 minutes of video I'm on camera like 30 seconds... Oh well.

Technorati Tags:television, pit bull, WBBJ

And they do not like you...

from "There Will Be No Peace" - W.H. Auden

You must live with your knowledge.
Way back, beyond, outside of you are others,
In moonless absences you never heard of,
Who have certainly heard of you,
Beings of unknown number and gender:
And they do not like you.

Wow. That's dark. Look up the rest of the poem if you're interested. I love W. H. Auden. Not a love poet, certainly, but WOW.

And no, I don't think this poem's about you... be happy!

I'll record the rest of it and post it as a link later.

Uncle Harry tells the "pig story"

We had a chance to work on a new video the other night. Mr. Harry wanted to share "the pig story" with some of his nieces and nephews... So.. Here's "Story Time with Uncle Harry"



Give Allison credit for the idea, Justin for the soundtrack, and ME for the pig noises.. Mr. Harry did a great job!

Technorati Tags:Video, Story, Pigs

Gabba Gabba GOOOOO!

The Pentecostal Church and The Holy Ghost Want You To Wear Pig Panties � Violent Acres:

"Not only were we surrounded by friends, but at any second, there was a distinct possibility that someone would become possessed by the good ol’ Holy Ghost and feel compelled to shout at the ceiling, “GABBA GABBA GOOOOO!”"

I'm fascinated by "spirit filled churches". I do believe that the Spirit manifests itself in different ways in different people and different communities of faith -- it's a fact that we don't speak in tongues or fall under the spirit very often in our small-town Methodist Church. I'm told that it happens in other local churches.

The above account (and I recommend reading the entire post) is hilarious and also informative. I've not read such a frank account of life in a Pentecostal church before.

Enjoy!

Technorati Tags:Pentecostal Church, Religion, Spirituality, Interesting

Breathe

I have allowed you to
Place me in a little box
So small, I can hardly
Breathe.

I do not like it in the box
It is small and
I like to
Breathe.

So you sit there
On the box
Talking at me
Not to me, as if nothing is
Amiss.

I will allow you to leave
If you will
So I can leave this little box and
Breathe.

She just lay down to sleep...

Goodbye.

Technorati Tags:pet, dog, death, German Shepherd

Memphis music

I spent the weekend at the Memphis Music and Heritage Festival in and around the Center for Southern Folklore on Main Street in Memphis. This is an annual event for me -- I think this is my ninth festival. I've been working for and with the Center since 1997.

It's truly an amazing event put together almost entirely by volunteers. The Music and Heritage Festival is the largest free heritage festival of its kind in the Southeast, I think. Yeah, I said FREE. More than 100 acts played over two days. Everything from Choctaw Dancers to Klezmer to the Bobby Rush himself made this years festival a HUGE success.

I am more and more amazed every year with Judy Peiser, the Center's Executive Director, particularly. She seems to have boundless energy and a boundless drive to promote ALL facets of culture represented in the South at the Festival. Judy is simply amazing.

As I say, I've worked with the Center for Southern Folklore for the last decade or so -- I've met hundreds of musicians, artists, and entertainment professionals. I've shook hands with B.B. King (and served him dinner) several times, I've spent quality time with Marty Stuart and the late Rufus Thomas, I've spent hours with record producers, concert promoters, painters, sculptors, and who knows who else. I've never gotten a picture with any of them. I'm an idiot -- in many cases, I was ALONE with these folks. I never thought it was proper or my place to be a fan; I wanted to do my job and make these people comfortable. I've decided to change my outlook slightly: Yes, I'll continue to do my job and support these folks in whatever professional way that I can, but I'm also gonna get PICTURES.

I have a hodge-podge of responsibilities at the Music and Heritage Festival. Primarily, I'm nominally over the operations of the bar and food service area inside what is known as "Folklore Hall". I'm a problem solver, too, fixing problems and putting out fires that may crop up in and near the venue for which I'm responsible. I'm also responsible for making sure the artists get paid. Yeah, I get to hand out the checks -- and that puts me directly in front of the performers.

That's really one of the greatest parts of my job at the festival: I get to meet and greet every performer. Many of the "regulars" know my name; almost all of them know my face by now. Many begin smiling when they see me, call my name, or just generally seem glad to see me. I'd be glad to see me, too, of course, as I have their check! This year, I got several pictures with some of my favorite artists; unfortunately, I *still* missed a few of my favorites.

I did manage to get pictures with two of my primary targets, however: Eddie Bond and Kate Campbell. Of course, in all the pictures, I look like someone's been beating me with a club and the performers look like they've been drenched -- it was hot in Memphis this last weekend (even inside it was warm under the stage lights).

I had a great time -- even though my feet and knees are just now getting back to normal. I can't wait for next year.

For more information on the Center for Southern Folklore, visit http://www.southernfolklore.com. There's also a special web-page for the festival at http://www.memphismusicandheritage festival.com.

I recommend reading Andria Lisle's excellent article on the festival in the Memphis Flyer (click).

Also, Tom Bremer wrote a nice blurb on Kate Campbell (click) in his reflections on this years festival.

Technorati Tags:Center for Southern Folklore, Memphis Music and Heritage Festival, Memphis, Music

A little Hank Williams: "You Win Again"

As you may know, I’ve been playing around with an Autoharp for several months. At the same time, I’ve fallen in love with Hank Williams, Sr. He recorded lots of music. His themes seem to be confined basically to:

• Lost, Unrequited, or Spurned Love
• His Mother Dying
• Gospel Music

I’ve played a few gospel numbers for various church and community gatherings. I’ve not had a chance to play anything else, really. I recorded myself playing “You Win Again” tonight. It’s not terribly bad, I think, but I’m not a professional . You can have a look at the lyrics by visiting the LyricWiki page for “You Win Again”.

You can have a listen to my version here:

So, I think I don’t need to be on the road. Still, it was fun! What do you think of Hank Williams or my rendition of his song/

Technorati Tags:Hank Williams, Autoharp, Recording, You Win Again

Lucky letters? Ha!

Last night I was talking to a friend of mine and, knowing my penchant for crossword puzzles, she recommended I try Pat Sajak's "Lucky Letters" online game. It looked pretty neat. Pat Sajak was explaining to me the rules and then he offered my first slate of "Lucky Letters". The image to the right is a screen shot showing the letters I had to choose from. Click the image to enlarge -- I've highlighted the relevant part.

Now, I would like to believe that this was a completely random occurrence. I don't know, really. Perhaps some programmer some where was having a good time -- or perhaps some programmer somewhere forgot to put a filter in. Nevertheless, I laughed. My friend laughed (when I sent her the screenshot).

So, should I send this to the game people? What do you think about my "Lucky Letters"?

Technorati Tags:Pat Sajak, Lucky Letters, Flash Games, FUCK, Funny, Screenshot

Leading birth control 1930 to 1960: Lysol?

Lysol (cleaner) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

"In the US, from around 1930 to 1960, vaginal douching with a Lysol disinfectant solution was the most popular form of birth control. US marketing ads printed testimonials from European 'doctors' touting its safety and effectiveness."

Wow. I like Lysol -- it makes my house feel clean. But BIRTH CONTROL? I never knew this. It's so bizzare!!! How in the world did someone decide that was a good idea? What woman would use Lysol in such a way? Wow.

Technorati Tags:lysol, birth control, bizzare, wikipedia

Plum tuckered out...

The heat is getting to me. The drought is getting to me. Life is getting to me.

I need a vacation and so I will have one. The waves breaking, the sand between my toes, the fish in my belly... Destin, here I come.

I will celebrate my birthday on the sugar-fine sand beaches of the Emerald Coast. If you're gonna be around Destin the week of August 27, let me know!

My father is somewhat upset, however, that I will miss HIS birthday while I'm gone. In retribution, he's making plans to attend B.B. King's concert in Tunica. That's almost enough to make me stay -- but not quite. He also claims that he's going to play golf -- again, to see my father in the heat of summer on the golf course is almost enough to keep me in our small town. My mother tactfully asked him how many holes he plans to play. My father replied, "All of them!" "How many days will that take?" my mother asked... He responded with a scowl.

Loving your neighbor

Justin asked a question on his Facebook a couple days ago, "What one thing have you learned today?"

I answered that question: "The way we treat the people we like the least is the best measure of our character."

If you're a Christian, you've probably heard Jesus' take on this issue: "Love your neighbor as yourself," and "Whatever you do unto the least of these you do also unto Me."

That second suggestion is really only relevant if you're a Christian and believe in putting Jesus/God first, of course. There's also the Golden Rule, "Do unto other as you would have them do unto you."

I dunno. I've been reminded lately, both at work and in my personal life, that we need to treat everyone with the love and respect that we hope to receive. Just because we *can* treat someone like crap doesn't mean we should -- even if there are no consequences (but you know, there are consequences and repercussions to every action). Just because we are set above someone or hold some power over them doesn't mean we should use it, it doesn't mean we should take the opportunity to demean or degrade them.

One of the most innocent and truly good and simple people I know in this world (other than Samuel) has been seriously abused this last few weeks by someone in authority over them. It's not fair, it's not right, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. It breaks my heart, it makes me want to weep, but I'm powerless here (I think). I keep thinking time will make this just "go away", but this abuse, this demeaning condescending attitude that's directed toward this simple and good person keeps rearing its ugly head. I want to fix everything, but I can't -- I know, I know.

How sweet... wait.. easy girls?

I found this image on the web this evening and thought it was terribly sweet. What a wonderful visual poem addressing how the "best" and "good" girls are harder to reach. It explains why "good" girls may be waiting... And then... I read it again...

Does this mean that those girls I've pursued who've chosen assholes and dipsh*ts (instead of me, the perfect man) have been "easy" and "rotten"? I don't know whether to be relieved or disturbed. What does this say about me?

Technorati Tags:women, bad apples, good, relationships

Import a Skunk? 30 days and $50

70-4-208. Unlawful importation of skunks — Penalty. —

(a) It is unlawful for any person to import, possess, or cause to be imported into this state any type of live skunk, or to sell, barter, exchange or otherwise transfer any live skunk, except that the prohibitions of this section shall not apply to bona fide zoological parks and research institutions.

(b) A violation of this section is a Class C misdemeanor.

[Acts 1974, ch. 622, § 1; 1982, ch. 738, § 31; T.C.A., § 51-514; Acts 1989, ch. 591, § 113.]

A Class C misdemeanor in Tennessee is punishable by "not greater than 30 days in jail and a fine not to exceed $50".

HELP HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!!!!

Why in the world can't I import a skunk into the great state of Tennessee? What if I just lure a skunk into the state -- say with some peanut butter or something? I can see the headline now: "Local alderman jailed for transporting pole-cat across state lines"...

I thought this was hilarious when I found it the other day while searching for animal cruelty laws. "Seriously," I thought, "why would it matter?" Apparently, skunks are common carriers of rabies and our General Assembly in its wisdom decided to outlaw the importation of this dangerous feline. I hope they didn't spend long on this law.

Technorati Tags:skunk, Tennessee, dumb laws

The day turned dark

I’ve been dealing with some pretty serious crap lately (literally). I won’t elaborate, but it suffices to say that I’ve been stressed. Don’t fret about me though, I’ll be okay. It’s not bad stress, just lots of it. I’ve been pretty much at peace lately. Hoo rah.

My day had been full yesterday. I’d worked at my desk much of the day, trying to finish projects that never seem to get finished. Trying to empty my “in” box even as Judy was shoving more stuff on top. The end of the day came and I was tired.

I find myself sitting on my couch just after 5:00 and the phone rang. It was Justin and he asked me where I was. His tone was curt and cold and I wondered what was wrong. “It’s distinctly possible I’ve pissed him off,” I think to myself. I’d talked to him earlier in the day, but one never knows. I screw up all the time.

No. Justin wasn’t mad at me. He was calling to tell me that a student at Gibson County High School had collapsed on the field during football practice. They’d rushed him to the hospital but he’d been unresponsive and in fact had passed away just minutes before Justin called.

As Justin told me this, matter-of-factly, as he told me who it was, I was shocked. I was amazed. I didn’t weep or cry. I said, “Oh God”. That was pretty much it.

The day turned dark.

This young man was the younger, baby brother of a guy, John, who graduated from High School with me. He was almost exactly a year younger than Samuel. John and I had baby brothers at the same time. I remember offering him advice when his brother was born; babies were new things to 8^th graders.

I called my parents last night. My father said nothing for a few moments and then quietly told my mother. Over the telephone I could hear her sobs. I told my father to take care of my mother and that I’d be over shortly.

I won’t laud the young man, though he probably deserves it. He was a good kid; a genuinely good kid, so far as I know. I was always pleased to see him.

I am reminded that life can change in a moment. We can be snatched away from our loved ones in the blink of an eye. They can be snatched away from us in an instant. Death is no respecter of age, health, position, power, or wealth. We must cherish our friends and family. We must love them and let them know we love them. We must love and accept love.

Nose hair and the men who have it...

I spent the day with a young guy who’s studying to be an engineer. That’s not really relevant except that it might explain why he doesn’t care about his nose hair. It’s possible that he just doesn’t notice; engineers are a rare breed.

This guy’s nasal hair is AMAZING! It’s like a little spider or something sitting on each side of his nostril. I can’t imagine breathing with something like that growing out of my breathing holes. Surely he can feel it; surely it interferes with his eating! I won’t say it’s disgusting, but it’s certainly distracting. I can’t look at him without staring at his nose. Dark black wiry hair.

Of course, he also has a scraggly, unkempt beard. I don’t know what’s going on — even when I had a beard, it was either really scruffy (but full) or neatly trimmed. His beard doesn’t look good scruffy ‘cause it’s not thick enough. Again, dark black wiry hair.

I’ve only recently had to become concerned about nose hair. Patrick, my former roommate, grew a forest if he didn’t keep it trimmed. Tori and Allison even gave him a trimmer especially for his nose a few Christmases ago. I had no such worries; I still don’t worry much. I only get the occasional straggler that is quickly plucked out.

If you see a little friend, a blondish tendril, peaking out of my nose, please let me know. I don’t want to be the object of conversation.

Technorati Tags:nose hair, grooming, appearance

How the bestsellers end...

It seems bestsellers always end up with someone (or several people) dying. It’s true for Harry Potter, certainly. I’ll not spoil it — my friend Matt’s already been cursing me ‘cause I inadvertently gave up some plot details.

Now, I’ll not tell you how it ends, but you’ll be surprised and pleased, I think. I managed to snag a copy and I’ve read the highlights… you need to either read the book or wait for the move (which is sure to be a block-buster).

I will, however, fill you in on the details of another bestseller.  Yeah, Jesus dies. But he comes back. Don’t mean to spoil it for you, but if you’ve missed that, you’re kinda out of touch anyway.

Before you get to bitching about my comparing the Bible and Harry Potter think for a moment: More people will read Harry Potter cover-to-cover this year than will read the Bible (perhaps at all). I’m not kidding and you know I’m right.

I just finished an excellent biography of Winston Churchill by Roy Jenkins that included more than 1000 pages of small print. If I can read this thing cover-to-cover, why not the Bible? I dunno; I’ve a flawed character — even though I’m the perfect man.

Technorati Tags:Harry Potter, Jesus, Bible, Spoiler

I was a 4 year old pageant king

No, I wasn’t a 4 year old pageant king, but I know kids who were. Though I’m not sure I agree with the practice, I can see little girls in beauty pageants; not so little boys. Can you imagine facing the bullies at pre-school? It can’t be good for one’s self image: If you win, you think you’re amazing, if you lose, you think you suck. Tweenage boys don’t need to reflect on their life on the pageant circuit; they’ve got enough trouble with emerging hormones and blossoming sexuality.

I’ll confess, I’ve been to beauty pageants. Hell, I’ve JUDGED a beauty pageant. I judged little toddling boys, too, I’ll tell you. It was tough and I thought they should all get a trophy, a sharp pointed trophy they could use to attack their mothers when they’re old enough to figure out that their mothers started their sissification far too young. I was hoping one of them would bite his mother but alas, no.

I dunno. My friend Liz was in a pageant a last year I think. It was a small, local thing and she won. She got to ride in a parade and preside over the opening ceremonies of several community events. She also got to sell t-shirts at a “memorabilia stand”.

For those of you interested in the pageant life, I refer you to the excellent movie, Drop Dead Gorgeous. While satirical, it highlights some of the sillier aspects of pageantry.

 

Technorati Tags:beauty pageants , children, abuse

The "Toot-N-Tell-It" effect -- at an end?

Toot N Tell It
Originally uploaded by Mrs Soop.

The Daily Beacon

The Tennessee General Assembly recently passed anti-smoking legislation that will prohibit smoking in public places effective Oct. 1.

The Senate version of the bill was among the strictest in the country, banning smoking in any enclosed public area, until the Tennessee House of Representatives added several exemptions to the ban, excusing age-restricted venues, private clubs and smoking rooms in hotels, among others.

I had lunch at Joe and Deanna's with my dad today. I noticed a sign on the door that said, "State Law: Effective October 27 we will be a non-smoking establishment." It was a hand-lettered sign and I was pleased to see that they spelled all the word correctly.

This got me to thinking about our other eatery in Dyer: the "Toot-N-Tell-It". For as long as I've can remember (even before they moved) people have talked about the "Toot-N-Tell-It effect" or the "Toot-N-Tell-It scours". It's a certain laxative effect that one experiences upon dining at said establishment. It's not the food, I guarantee, for if you get take out or have catered food, you don't experience that special feeling.

I surmise that the effect is generated by vaporized grease, cigarette smoke, and something else undefined (perhaps burnt hair or something). It's special, the odor one carries on one's person when one leaves the Toot. People KNOW you've been there -- and you know you've been there after about an hour because of the special rumbling down below.

I am eagerly waiting to see if the removal of cigarette smoke from the equation leads to a lessening of "the effect". We shall see. Let me know what you think!

Technorati Tags:Toot N Tell It, Dyer, TN, smoking ban, Tennessee

Nice guys finish last... a rant

I was listening earlier today to Green Day's song "Nice Guys Finish Last". It's not really about the "nice guy" as I think about it, but it did get me thinking.

I am the classic "nice guy". Fu-Zu Jen wrote an interesting "tribute" to nice guys for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal that accurately characterizes nice guys. You should read it. It's not terribly long. It's some stuff I've not thought about.

She says, in part:

The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
...
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

I've quoted far too much of her writing, but it's dead-on. Nice guys get screwed -- and not in the good way. Nice guys end up with women who use and abuse them, who leave them standing on the side of the road wondering what the hell ever happened.

The problem with nice guys, according to the heartless bitches at Heartless Bitches International is, "... that Nice Guys don't like themselves." I don't think that's true, at least for all the nice guys I know. I like myself just fine; I'm caring, passionate, confident (most of the time), successful.

I'm sick and tired of being the perfect man, of being the person that women compare their exes too when they're explaining why it doesn't work out ("Yeah, Nathan, he's not like you... You never treat me like that... Bubba and I didn't communicate like you and I do, Nathan.") I'm sick and tired of it, but I don't know what to do about it.

I make the mistake of trying to be friends. Excuse the f'ing sh*t out of me, but doesn't it make sense to see if you can tolerate or stand a person before you try to jump into some relationship with them? Except it rarely works that way: When a woman finds out who you are (this wonderful person), they end up wanting to STAY friends. I understand that I am not attracted to every woman I befriend; I understand that every woman isn't attracted to me, but DAMN, it seems like once you become a FRIEND, the freaking door is slammed shut and the key is melted down. Why does it have to be that way? Why don't nice guys ever get a chance?

Women SAY they want a nice guy, but NICE GUYS are like Amos Hart from the musical Chicago:

Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...

Yeah, Nice Guys are like Amos -- Mr. Cellophane -- you look right through us, walk right past us all the while saying you're looking for someone just like us... But that's not what women want -- at least not until they've grown and learned... and still maybe never.

There's little to be done about, it seems. The world needs nice guys and we're a happy lot, for the most part. Nice guys make the world go 'round. You need us to cry on, to call on, to support you when you're not sure of yourself. We'll just keep being nice and taking the small slights and bearing the little pains silently.

Now, before I get a torrent of flaming hate-mail scented with womens perfume, I know that I have been the "nice guy" to some of you reading this. Yeah, I know you read my blog -- you've told me. You've even told me how sweet it is sometimes, the stuff I write about you and other women. I'm not gonna stop being your nice guy; it's who I am and you know I can't change. I just thought I needed to get this off my chest... I don't mean to offend, but LISTEN, for whatever good it will do.

Technorati Tags:nice guys, relationships, romance, rant

How other people deal with door-to-door idiots...

I read the best of Craigslist occasionally. Funny stuff, sometimes. I came across particularly funny post tonight that I identify with:

best of craigslist : Door to door religious idiots:

"Still out of breath from the fight, sweating, covered in scratches and blood and hair, and carrying a nail trimming tool in one hand, I fling open the door. The picture-perfect charismatic family has decided to let the little girl be the front man. She looks to be about eight years old. She's standing on the front porch, while Mom, Dad, and Little Brother - about five - are standing a few feet back on the walkway. I grit my teeth in my best Dirty Harry impression, look directly at the little girl, and say, 'Yes?' "

I wrote about my own manner of dealing with random people ringing my bell a few months ago. Perhaps I should get some fake blood.

Protestant churches aren't "churches"?

Vatican: Non-Catholics 'wounded' by not recognizing pope - CNN.com

"Despite the fact that this teaching has created no little distress ... it is nevertheless difficult to see how the title of 'Church' could possibly be attributed to them,"
...
The document said the Council's opening to other faiths recognized there were "many elements of sanctification and truth" in other Christian denominations, but stressed only Catholicism had all the elements to be Christ's Church fully.

Wow. I have great respect for the Roman Catholic church and its role in the history of faith and its role in contemporary evangelism... BUT... how short-sighted, how narrow-minded, how amazingly dumb public relations.

Yes, I know that Vatican II had quite a bit to say about "other" churches, but it was vague and handy -- at least we could imagine that there were other "windows" to faith. This is out-and-out condemnation of Protestantism.


Technorati Tags: Vatican, Protestant Churches, religion, news, rediculous

The price of freedom

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
--John F. Kennedy, Inaugural Address 1961

I went to the patriotic cantata presented by our local community choir Sunday afternoon. It was well done; we're blessed with talent in our little community. I wish I could have participated this year, but I simply didn't have the time or the emotional fortitude to devote to several months of practice.

One of the songs they sang was "The Price of Freedom". It's a touching song about how, throughout history, men have given their lives for freedom. Throughout the song, they showed slides of local servicemen from World War I to the present. I'll be honest: I got choked up looking at some of the faces. Some were killed in action, some have returned to our community, and some are serving NOW. I was stuck by how many of the faces I know personally and even how many are of "my generation".

Off the top of my head, here are the folks I can think of who are or will serve our country "from my generation": Tom M., John O., Katie M., Jonathan F., Brandon B., Nathan G., and I know there are others. Who did I forget? Tell me!

I will not debate the rightness of the conflicts in which our nation is currently engaged. It is enough to say that we are fighting for liberty in parts of the world where liberty may be sorely lacking. It is enough to say that the folks I listed above are fighting in our names for the ideals of freedom and liberty that we must embrace if we call ourselves Americans.

Let's give thanks, as we approach Independence Day, for those who have been willing to risk the ultimate sacrifice to preserve our way of life, to uphold the ideals of freedom and liberty that America represents.

Happy July 4.

Technorati Tags:freedom, liberty, sacrifice, America, Independence Day, July 4

Justin describes the tornado

Justin describes the tornado -- using sound effects, role-play, flashbacks, and interpretative dance.



We have far too much time on our hands.

Technorati Tags:funny, tornado, role-play

Consequences and Repercussions

Choices are interesting things. We choose what to eat, we choose where to go, where to live, who to hang out with, what to wear, what to watch on television. We make hundreds of choices every day, certainly.

Choices have consequences and repercussions.

We often analyze our what we consider *big* choices and weigh the "pros and cons". We often do not analyze "every day" choices -- we just decide and move on.

What I forget is that ALL choices have consequences and repercussions. I may choose what I believe is the right thing for me and, if I choose correctly, the outcome will be largely positive. Regardless, all choices have consequences and repercussions -- sometimes these consequences and repercussions may be unpleasant or disagreeable to me.

You, too, have made choices which were likely the right choices for you, but those choices have consequences and repercussions which may have been disagreeable. Think for a moment on choices you've made, perhaps without considering the total outcome. Are you satisfied with the results? Do the pros outweigh the cons?

Some choices can be made over. Some cannot. We must be prepared to live with the consequences of our choices.

Choices involving people are the hardest to make again. Take, for example, "first impressions": we're told you only get one chance to make a good first impression. People make choices, judgments about us based on their impressions of us. It's hard, for me, to overcome my first impression of someone.

People are unpredictable. When our choices involve people, we cannot often accurately gauge their response our their subsequent behavior. I very infrequently make "final" choices about people. My friends say I sit on the fence about too many things, but I think, as concerns people, you can't sit on the fence enough. Taking extreme, precipitate action which binds you to someone or alienates you from someone is a serious choice and should be considered carefully. I don't, generally, make such choices (though sometimes they're made for me). I'd rather wait, keep my cards close to my vest, and see how things develop. I think I'm happier that way and I hopefully (certainly?) make few enemies.

With few exceptions choices, while not entirely reversible, can be "fixed". I can choose to never eat a hotdog with jalapeños again (and save my poor digestive system), I can choose to always buckle my seat belt after a car accident, I can choose to divorce my wife or husband (not pleasant, but it is a "fix"), I can choose to forgive someone for something perceived as "unforgivable", I can choose to always drink gin and never drink tequila, I can choose to always fly from Nashville and never from Memphis, I can give people second chances and I can accept second chances from others.

Technorati Tags:choices, consequences, repercussions, decisions